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A little over a year later, Maltempo married a woman he met on the site.But dating — online or off — was hardly a smooth experience.
In the process, Montecillo, 25, also learned to not judge himself based on others people’s standards.Alan Montecillo logged on to Ok Cupid and started filling out his profile.He wrote down his height (6 feet), listed his interests (podcasts, basketball, reading) and included photos of himself outdoors.“I feel like I’ve grown into being more socially outgoing and talkative, but I wasn’t always that way,” he said.“I think there was a long time where I felt ashamed, ashamed or self-conscious, or attributing me being single to the fact that I don’t have these qualities and I need to have these qualities in order to attract people.Even though intellectually I knew it wasn’t true, but emotionally [I was] blaming myself for not meeting a seemingly objective standard of what is attractive.” MC Maltempo, a 36-year-old Korean American who grew up in Golden, Colo., also met his significant other online.
He first joined in 2006, but only started using it seriously in 2013.So I dumped him.] In a recent online survey of 900 Asian American men, Liu found that Asian men frequently feel stereotyped as lacking masculinity; they also said they’re perceived as undesirable and as too passive.Part of the problem, she says, is that the white American man has become the standard for what is attractive. There are few Asian American male leads in Hollywood, and only recently have more Asian characters been cast as love interests.“Maybe they’d talk about how they’re really into anime, manga or ‘Have you seen that scary Japanese or Korean movie?’ The media interests rather than culture interests made it kind of shallow.” The bias Asian men encounter in dating bleeds into other parts of their lives as well.Tao Liu, a doctorate student in counseling psychology at Indiana University, has measured how Asian American men experience gendered racism.