Issues dealing with interracial dating

01-Jan-2016 19:31 by 8 Comments

Issues dealing with interracial dating

recently got into a interesting conversation with a few White women I know, who happen to date Black or minority men, and it really highlighted a need to explore the complexities of such unions in greater depth.Though I do support the right to love, regardless of color (or gender/gender identity), I also believe that the challenges of interracial relationships are often obscure and infrequently discussed.

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And such displays of ignorance, sadly, tend to become a frequent part of your interaction with the world as you move through it beside a person of color, including when dealing with family, loved ones, coworkers and authority figures. This same White curiosity will lead many to ask you some pretty ignorant questions about your partner so be prepared. Society fetishizes mixed babies, but does not treat mixed-race individuals well.

Just because you’re dating a Black person does not mean it’s impossible for you to say/do racist things, and it doesn’t absolve you of recognizing your White privilege. As discussed in point one, many non-minority people exist in a majority world where they infrequently encounter and experience racism.

That privilege is revoked when you decide to date interracially.

Dangerously, it is with this lens that many come to understand their interest or “preference” for a particular race.

For example, a man who seeks an Asian female partner because he believes in stereotypes of Asian domesticity and submissiveness is playing into these stereotypes, and thus fetishizing his partner.

(“He’s not your typical Black guy.”) That, of course, is very problematic.

No relationship can be built on or sustained without acknowledgment, acceptance and respect: including the respect of the race and background of the person you are with. Your partner may be of another race, but your relationship does not exempt you from being racist or exploring White privilege.

To put it bluntly, many White people simply have no idea what they are getting into when they begin relationships with people of color. If you don’t believe racism exists, don’t date interracially.

To raise awareness of the issues such individuals may encounter, I decided to write this list. While confined to the realms of “Whiteness,” a person can remain ignorant to the experiences of racism that constantly leave people of color feeling diminished and undervalued.

Another example of fetishization was egregiously displayed by Khloe Kardashian’s tweet about her Black husband’s “big hands,” her reveal of his penis size and more recently her statement that the Kardashians “only like Black cock.” And then there’s Jean-Paul Goude — the photographer behind the now infamous magazine cover of Kim Kardashian — who famously used his Black then-girlfriend, Grace Jones, to recreate hypersexualized/stereotyped imagery of Black women.

A relationship should be built on mutual respect of one another’s human dignity.

We’re often unaware of the stereotypes that creep into our psyches, planted early and then fed throughout our lives.