Race and dating preferences
Race and dating preferences - senior dating org
My blood has many shades of brown in it — my mother and several of her sisters would be considered "light-skinned" and many of her brothers have darker chocolate skin tones; my father seems to be one of the few medium-skinned folks on his side of the family, with most of the women and men being lighter shades of brown.Before I understood colorism and even before I fully understood racism, I envied my lighter cousins and the looser curls that flowed so easily down their backs, moving with the wind.
Whether it was a simple "no weaves" or "I prefer lighter skin tones" the message was not subtle. I was offended, but I had to realize that I didn't want to date someone who needed to be told that just because they had not found a black female like me attractive before, for whatever reason, didn't mean they never would.When I joined a dating site soon after relocating here, I learned that colorism was alive and growing in one of the most diverse cities in the world.I joined an online dating site because I liked the idea of a digital dating agent working on my romantic life while I was at work.Sun damage was not my concern, and skin cancer hadn't even entered my vocabulary.I avoided the sun because I knew that as soon as my skin started to darken, I would inevitably be on the receiving end of jokes such as "Oh, sorry I couldn't see you because it's night time." Those jokes about my skin were a dime a dozen during my childhood in a predominantly white environment.As I scrolled through potential mates, my confidence ebbed tremendously.
It was as if I had somehow entered the "No Blacks Allowed" Twilight Zone.
I had never been too shy to make the first move and, since there is nothing to lose with online dating, I wasn't shy about messaging more boys more often. But then I began reading beyond the funny "what people notice first about you" blurbs.
Users could state their racial preferences in a partner, and even though you'd think people would be turned off by someone who said they only wanted to date certain races, most people included this info.
Media outlets have long been accused of using Photoshop to lighten darker-skinned folks in order to make them more appealing to the masses.
During Obama's first run for president, sources audaciously pointed out that our first black president was a light-skinned man, suggesting that he may not have been elected or had the same opportunities to be elected if he were darker-skinned.
This discrimination has historical roots — during slavery, lighter-skinned black people often worked in the house, while darker-skinned black people were relegated to work in the fields.